Sunday, October 23, 2005

"All my best friends are my enemies...."

I've got a hole in my chest that can't be filled. It was opened by a visceral piece of music that moved me to tears. Not physical but internal. If it can't be explained why try? It does remind me of my trust issues. However, just because everything I've ever trusted in life is now broken, does that mean it can't be mended. No. Will it ever be the same? No. Someone used the term "closed-off." My mother substitutes that with picky. I could care less either way. It's that notion of being lonely, but not lonely. The want of someone to wake up next to you, but the need to wake up alone. Everybody has it. It'll never happen unless your not looking for it. And then it's right under your nose and you ignored it for the other side of the fence. But the owner's moved out. You can't have that back again. You've already moved on, but with the question of "what if" in the back of your mind. There's no "if" anymore though. There just is. You can't questions what you've done. You can't apologize for it. It's what makes you what you are. Being a heartbreaker is a misnomer. Sometimes nothing is the best thing to say. I'm bored enough already. It's all static. Everybody is static. Fuck it, I'm moving the Australia. If I only had the security to say that and mean it. I'm not embarrassed anymore of anything because, what's there to really be embarrassed of anymore anyways? Listen to your elders kiddies, because they may just know better than you think you do. We all think in this stream of conciousness, but only the truly talented can translate the words. And it's brought to you by the word confidence and the number four.

So long and good night.

Currently listening :

Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge
By My Chemical Romance
Release date: By 08 June, 2004

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