Monday, December 19, 2005

Big Brother and Santa Clause May Be One In the Same...

While ailing with a monster head cold from bed this weekend watching the various news and news-magazine based programs, two things were brought to my attention that mad eme more than afraid not only for you and I but our personal liberties that the Bill Of Rights are supposed to be protecting and that, second by second this administration seems to be ripping down.....what exactly are we fighting for in Iraq exactly if we can't even stand behind our own constitution at this point:

1) Mr. Bush came out in his weekly radio address and admitted that the NSA have been essentially eavesdropping on Americans without warrants. Bush has allowed the NSA to wiretap certain phonelines without warrants from the courts. This reeks with and incredible amount of arrogance that realy should amke any American angry. All that's needed it seems is any sort of vendetta that the NSA might have against any individual (whether they be potential terrorists or not) and they have been allowed over the last four years by our President, someone who is in charge of upholding our cilvi rights and our constitution, to wire tap and base surveillence on people unchecked by our justice systme, an essential check and balance that apparently Mr. Bush (I call him Mr., because I don't consider him my president by any stretch of the imagination) figures he needs take not part in.

2) The United States and more specifically the CIA is involved in this process called Rendition. What happens is the CIA essentially kidnaps people they think may have information in connection to terrorist cells and terrorist activities, (and while Secretary Of State Condolezza Rice denies the following I don't buy her defense, following what we all saw happening at Abu Ghraib) brings them to countries where torture is legal, and interrogates these abductees until they tells us what they want, often using these tirture techniques in their interrogations. The story of a German man who was abducted and tirtured last night showed up on 60 Minutes and it is horrifying to say the least. A man is on vacation, is kidnapped tortured and let go only once the CIA realizes they have the wrong man. And after what does he get? Just an apology that there was a mistaken identity and that they had the wrong man. Never mind the fact that torture is wrong and outlawed by the Geneva Convention, but can we talk about first making sure we actually have the RIGHT PERSON to interrogate. The unbelieveable ignorance of human rights in this case is egregious at best and I know compeltely undertsnad why so many countries have it out for us. If we are picking up people willy nilly,then bringing them to countires to be tortured simply because it is the law of the land (and thius bypassing any possible laws we might have AGAINST torturing anyone)....the convience of these tactics not only worries me it sickens me beyond belief.

Last night, in his address to the nation, Mr. Bush finally acknowledged something that I never though I'd see admitted in my lifetime.He acknolwedged finally that mistakes had been made in this whole Iraq debacle. And while we still have sons and duaghters over there fighting for who knows what now...we still have no plan from Mr. Bush to get these soldiers home safe and home where they belong, nor do we have any semblance of long range plans to keep Iraq a stable demorcratic government. So in the end thousands of Amercanliuves have been lost on their shores and on ours, for nothing but Mr. Bush finally admitting he screwed up. And while he still keeps this pipe dream alive that this is nothing but another long line in monumental fuck-ups by his administration , I can't help but sit back and laugh. Because his apporval ratings went up this morning. Went up! Because he admitted he screwed up. Which many of us already knew. Many of us were already aware of the very words that Mr. Bush exclaimed on the TV last night.

And his approval ratings went up this morning.

What the fuck is wrong with middle America anyways?

Currently listening :

By Black Flag
Release date: By 1 January, 1981

Saturday, December 17, 2005


What can you, rather, do you contemplate when your alone? Are you comtemplating the simple act of being alone? Is it healthy to contemplate the act of being alone? Is it healthy to be alone? What does the word alone realy mean? Are we all truly just alone? Are we all seeking to not be alone? Are we content as we are? Are we happy who we are? Are we happy? Are we pretending? Is being alone just a state of mind? Are we all ever alone? Is "alone" even relevant? Repeat yourself two times if you understand.

I've got no use for simple connections, as i've got no use for simple attractions or addictions. Your always thinking to the point of obsession but never really crossing that line. Obseession is an ugly statement but a beautiful word. I'll always understand what it is but never what it means. Stop and think. You're obsessing again.

She said "I'm not sure where I end and you begin," she said. I'll never know what this meant. I thought about it, thought about it's relationship to being alone. I obsessed over it. And I never got it quite right. Never came to the crux of the matter. Abstract is how I work but abstract thinking doesn't work. I can't be the only person who thinks this right? And what if I am? What if I am.

Repeat as needed...

It's a calm soothing feeling like the womb. But it's not the womb. It's artificial. It's fake. It's automated. Something you do that's automated. You don't think about it. If you have to think about it, you amy be in a great deal of trouble. We aren't robots, we're humans. Systems work systematically. Our systems work like robots. We don't think, we do.

You understand when nobody else did. You understand when nobody else does. Past tense preceded but present tense. If you understand, you are cognisant. If you are cognisant, you are thinking. If your are thinking you are obsessing. If you're obsessing, you're the latter. It's a vicious cycle that goes around and around. Your are the first. Is it possible to be the first and the last. It's a circle and a cycle that I don't understand. I just want to so desperately understand.Where do we go from here? What were we hoping for? Understanding? A kind word. A shared glance. A smile. Something otherworldly. Something on this world. Something? Someone?

Currently listening :

Silent Alarm
By Bloc Party
Release date: By 22 March, 2005

Thursday, December 08, 2005

King Kong ain't got nothin' on Cassius Clay

T minus 2 weeks until I go on vacation. This is my first real vacation in two years. It's three years too late. My dad's suppsoedly hooking me up with hot tall blonde girls in Los Angeles, who are going to show me the night life. I'd rather go see Death by Stereo at Chain Reaction. But I do get to drive his BMW convertable around town. And they are tall blonde girls.

I'd comment and say I'm shallow but I don't believe in shallowness anymore. (I mean if you know me i REALLY care about driving a stupid car?) There's an initial spark that initiates any interaction between two people. More often than not, whether we want to admit it or not, this is a result of a mutual physical attraction between two people based on first impression and physical appearance. No one can deny this. It's what you do after that inital reaction, and your reaction to those people once you dig a little deeper that determines whether your shallow or not.

Anybody who says looks don't matter are full of complete shit. Of course they do. I just don't believe that ultimately, they are the only thing that matters. It's that period of time after you meet that determines the length of a relatiosnhip, which really is more telling then whatever frantic affair you might involve yourself in in the beginning of a realtionship.

People's tastes and perceptions are all different. this is how you end up with all different kinds of relationshipos between people. Christ, your own tastes and wants and needs change as you grow as aperson too. I used to think Paris Hilton was the greatest thing since sliced bread three years ago. Now I think she is a skanky airhead who's vagina I wouldn't touch with Johnny's penis. And that's purely ona surface level. I don't know Paris Hilton at all. I haven't grown to dislike her through a personal relationship with her (although there are others that have had a analagous effect on me, but I won't go into that now). But i don know that five minutes alone with her and I'd want to fucking blow my brains out. I don't care how blonde she is and how attracted I am initally to them, it's so not all about attraction. (Not to say color of hair solely detemines my attraction to a girl. It just happens that many of the girls I've been attracted to in life have been blonde.....anyways...)

My only point in this i supposed was to say that looks, hair color, eyes, body's not everything. It's just the first thing. If your basing an entire relationship on that first thing....then it may be time to adjust your own definition of shallow.

Currently listening :

By Seaweed
Release date: By 26 October, 1993