Monday, October 31, 2005

"The only thing you fear is what they tell you to fear..."

Halloween, 2005 and the scariest thing in this world is the incompetence and carelessness of our governemnt. Such a spoiled brat mentality, that when they didn't hear soemthing they liked they jeopardized thousands of CIA operatives lives to prove that they had the bigger dick. Whether it's eventually directly tied to Rove or Cheney, or even more likely, neither, it's scary to think that we live in a country that will bully you out of your radio station license for making a fart joke on the air, but sees that it's perfectly okay to jeopardize people lives who live covertly t, oh yeah, capture intellegence for your own country. Not that i'm any uge fan of the CIA, don't get me wrong. I think it's been proven to a pretty evil orginization over the course of it's life, but all the pople who used that dummy company and were undercover behind the guise of this false front, their lives and careers are not only ruined but also in danger of being ended because of what they have been pretending to be over the course of thir employment. And all for what? So some government republic dick wad can use it as some pissing match to prove how big a dick he has. And after all this people still voted not only for this president who has no fucking semblance of an idea for what's going on, but better yet the puppet masters that pulls his strings behind the scenes. We are truly being fucked by this administartion people. And the worst part is their the 16 years olds drunk with the keys to the Mercedes and it's beginning to look like there's nothing we can do to get them out of the car. ANd now I look out and see the FCC (another cronie of our great president) saying Michael Powell didn't do ENOUGH and should have been finig more. And should a company try to stand up to what essentially is racketeering, they lose their livelyhood. It's a no win situation and all we can do is sit here and wtach it happen like zombies here on Halloween. I implore you today not to sit arounf like a zombie, speak out and do something about this administartion. He wasn't my choice, this administartion wasn't my choice, and it makes me sick to my stomach to think we should have to sit around and put up with this jock mentallity anylonger. This bullying of our rights, our selves, our own personage. Visit the first amanedment project, call Fox and Bill O-Reilly, challanege the so-called "vocal majority" and tell them they are wrong. Don't be a zombie.

Incidently...the Romero movies aren't just great horror movies, they are great social commentary. If only I could only say so much with so much gore someday.

Currently listening :

This Is A Spark Of Life
By Zombie Apocalypse
Release date: By 14 October, 2003

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Do you know what they said to defend themselves?

Frosted Mini-Wheats are a gift from the gods.

The greek ones...not the roman ones. The roman ones are shifty.

That is all.

Currently listening :

Answer That And Stay Fashionable
Release date: By 22 April, 1997

Monday, October 24, 2005

You can't beat me...

Haiku champion,

I am the best in the world,

So don't even try

Currently listening :

Under The Papal Tree
By Mono
Release date: By 20 November, 2001

Sunday, October 23, 2005

"All my best friends are my enemies...."

I've got a hole in my chest that can't be filled. It was opened by a visceral piece of music that moved me to tears. Not physical but internal. If it can't be explained why try? It does remind me of my trust issues. However, just because everything I've ever trusted in life is now broken, does that mean it can't be mended. No. Will it ever be the same? No. Someone used the term "closed-off." My mother substitutes that with picky. I could care less either way. It's that notion of being lonely, but not lonely. The want of someone to wake up next to you, but the need to wake up alone. Everybody has it. It'll never happen unless your not looking for it. And then it's right under your nose and you ignored it for the other side of the fence. But the owner's moved out. You can't have that back again. You've already moved on, but with the question of "what if" in the back of your mind. There's no "if" anymore though. There just is. You can't questions what you've done. You can't apologize for it. It's what makes you what you are. Being a heartbreaker is a misnomer. Sometimes nothing is the best thing to say. I'm bored enough already. It's all static. Everybody is static. Fuck it, I'm moving the Australia. If I only had the security to say that and mean it. I'm not embarrassed anymore of anything because, what's there to really be embarrassed of anymore anyways? Listen to your elders kiddies, because they may just know better than you think you do. We all think in this stream of conciousness, but only the truly talented can translate the words. And it's brought to you by the word confidence and the number four.

So long and good night.

Currently listening :

Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge
By My Chemical Romance
Release date: By 08 June, 2004

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I masterbate with gasoline and my apartment smells like pot. What else do you want from me?

I wish there wasn't such a stigma attached to age. Because it keeps you from being interested in people that, if age wasn't a factor, if age didn't even exist, could potentially keep you enthralled for ages. (Like that pun? Yes it's cute. You can pet it if you like.) I've never felt whatever age I am, although my birthday consistently reminds me that I am the age I am. My ex-girlfriend used to play this game with me when she used to remind me how old I was when she was a certain age. I hated that game. The number 29. I try to ignore it, but it's there on my birth certificate. You spend your whole life to a certain point trying to be older, until one day, you spend the rest of your life wishing you were younger. What a complete oxymoron we all get stuck in.

Currently listening :

Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number
By Aaliyah
Release date: By 14 June, 1994

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

"You're going about things in the opposite of the correct way."

"You can't lose something you never had to lose in the first place. You can only think about what it would've been like to have it."
"Force does not good, even in the best circumstances."
"If it was meant to be it would've happened."
"You can't wait forever for it to be realized."
"You really need to move on."

If I hear any of the preceding sentences again I will scream. There's nothing better to do so I'm not talking for the time being. Why even show any colors at all if everyone keeps suggesting that you bottle everything up and never say how you feel.

"Dude, you can't give it all away. You've got to play it cool and not say how you feel."

I'm so tired of being "real". Maybe it's time to be fake for a little bit.

Or better yet, just not "be" at all.

(Calm down. These are not suicidal thoughts. I'm far too old for that bullshit. Read it again and you'll undertsand what I'm saying.)

Currently listening :

Good Health
By Pretty Girls Make Graves
Release date: By 09 April, 2002

Monday, October 10, 2005

"Three months passed before they had something new to say..."

Remember The Escape Club which later became Chapter II? Remember standing outside in November trying to sell tickets to people who wanted nothing to do with your band? Remember the guy who asked you to cover another Tool song (what did you know...they were cool when you were 14 and in a band writing your own crappy music..)? Remember him asking if you knew "Prison Sex"? Remember Ugly Kid Joe and Scatterbrain being the biggest show ever? Remember Gwar covering you in fake blood? Remember Dee Snider being a dick during the worst snow storm you ever saw? Remember spending a whole February day trying to pretend you were Ornette Coleman while playing with Shrapnel Jack? Remember when they had the name Filter first? Remember Gambit at the AMVETS having to pretend they were someone else? Remember that first big show you saw your friends at with Elroy's Fetish? Remember Trolley Car Blackout's first show at the Middle East? Remember Joe talking to you about this great new band Quicksand and then he didn't know they had a full length? Remember going to see them at Axis? Remember talking about this great new band Nine Inch Nails before Soundgarden opened for Guns N' Roses at the Palladium? Remember the kid who did flips during Piebald's set at the American Legion? Rememeber Mason and Converge at the Red Barn? Remember putting the footage to that show in slow motion to Pavement's "Grounded"? Remember the last Splintered 12 show? Remember Cave In and Giant's Chair in Methuen when your door fell of your car? Rememeber watching "Slacker" at Chris's house? Remember playing Axis and Allies until 4 AM? Remember the old UFI where they weren't allowed to put on shows? Remember seeing Bubblegum Riot at the new UFI? Remember Lunar Plexis, Vision Of Disorder and Godflesh at the Rat? Remember when Amy had Gish before anyone had heard of the Smashing Pumpkins? Remember when she made you that tape with "Bleach" on the front and "Nevermind" on the back? Remeber the first time you saw that video on Headbanger's Ball? Remember Queensryche and Suicidal Tnednecies at the Centrum? Remember when Ben told you if you like Fishbone to check out Bad Brains, and 24-7 Spyz? Remember when the only ska band you liked was Fishbone because they weren't really a ska band? Remember Faith No More, Helmet, and Quicksand at the New Aud? Remember Ministry and Foetus in Fitchburg? Remember that week that Soundgarden, Nine Inch Nails, Sepultura and Pantera all had new albums? Remember the first time you heard Black Flag watching "The Decline Of Western Civilization" when you were 15? Remember when Dave Mustaine blasted Metallica every chance he got? Remember Sam Black Church headlining a hall show once every three months in the area? Remember when you realized you hated Earth Crisis? Remember when you didn't think about being straight edge, you didn't have to were a shirt or patch to prove it, you just were? Remember when you first discovered 7's? Remember buying that first one (I think mine was Burn)? Remember identifying with what all those Revealtion bands were singing about? Remember being in the first row with your finger pointed singing along? Remember when it was okay to listen to things that sounded different? Remember remembering?'ll never be that good again.

Currently listening :

America Must Be Destroyed
By Gwar
Release date: By 01 September, 1991