Tuesday, December 26, 2006

"Catch it on a bad day and you'll be jumping a rift..."

On a daily basis how many delusions do we put ourselves through? How many risks do we avaoid because there's no reward, really.

I'm so frusterated with simple things that really shouldn't bother me at all. I'm annoyed by things I should take as acts of goodwill because I've written them off before they've even begun.

There's so many thing started and left...unfinished.

We all want things to ultimately be less complicated then theya ctually are. We want the simple things in lives that, we are told, are the same thigns everyone else wants.

A shelter, clothes, food, if you're lucky a companion.

Sometimes I'm not sure I really want nay of these things at all.

You can't go home again. These words are true.

There's this whole burgeoning....thing..in front of me. I"m a little nervous about it because it's life altering, life changing even, but I'm happy to possibly engage in it.

My father is a nomad. Never happy in any place for any long amoutn of time. I equate this with a lack of fullfillment in his life and emotions, professional, physical, and psychological levels. I tend towards these tendencies bt only on a mental level.

Two years is a long time. I NEED to now do something...else.

Whether it's a wish fulfillment of a previous act already started and not completed, or something completely new and unadulterated.

I feel restless. Most of the itme I feel restless.

I need a Bonnie for my Clyde. A creative partner. Someone who understands and can analyse the things I do.

Or maybe I don't need anyone at all.

I'm so tired of thinking I'm on the same page with someone only later to find out we were reading different books. It's disheartening and not a way to fulfill any loss of...whatever.

"Cash in your chips son. Your'e gonna need them to get all the way over to the other side..."

Currently listening:
Hip Hop Is Dead
By Nas
Release date: By 19 December, 2006

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