Sunday, May 27, 2007

"It's been a long time...welcome back..."

How power ful is it when a song can replicate a feeling in you.
A feeling of sorrow or some false sense of how it is to be aimlessly and deeply in love.
Recent evenst have presented themselves as they are to put me deeply into thought about things.
Things I say as an overarching theme to what is going on right now in this second in life in general.
Life on planet Earth.
But anyways....
That feeling is what I imagine is the same feeling of being addicted to heroin.
And the feeling of being addicted to heroin is about one thousand times that feeling of being drunk, that feeling right before youu vomit but right after you lost all inhibition to do what you want and that moment where everything is a little fuzzy, but you still recognize you feel good.
But i digress....
The percceived feeling of love, much like addiction, can twist on you, make you feel terrible and sorrowful and sad because all you want is to see or be with that other person and you can't...
There's not enough of them to go around....there can't possibly be enough of them to quench your hunger...
And your heart is doing weird things and you have that queesiness in your stomach and you start hyper-ventilating and it's hard to deal with anything around you even though the perception to your self is that your mind is being expanded.
You simply loose control.
This is what I'd imagine Heroin is like.
Not that I have any experience.
Listening to Elliott Smith and having been in love, I'd imagine this was the kind of desperation he was feeling.
You know, when he tsabbed himself in the chest.
It's all bullshit in the end anyways.
Fucking sad bastard music.

Currently listening:
"Needle in the Hay"
By Elliot Smith
From the album Elliott Smith
Released June, 9th, 2005

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