Friday, June 19, 2009


What is heartbreak?

Is it the song you put on repeat to try to catch a glimpse of what you at least deluded yourself was happiness for that one brief time?

Is it the song you put on repeat to remind yourself how miserable and self-deprecating you want to keep yourself because that's what makes everything just a little more bearable?

It's certainly better than a week straight of rain, the pitter- pitter-pat constant outside your window, no sight of the sun for miles, reminding you that the weather doubles as an explanation for your mood.

What is heartbreak?

Have you ever known heartbreak?

All sorts of things can cause it, the staggering brilliance of an incredibly emotional invested movie, the whelping and emotion of the most emotive song, a simple black and white photograph encapsulatiig a simple theme or mood, a novel painting emotion with words instead of images.

A girl.

Heartbreak happens to everyone. If your lucky, more than once. IT's a way to prove investement into something.

It's caused by feelings which we can never, no matter who scholarly the psychologist, ever fully realize, analyze or understand.

Hopeless romantic is such an overused term, but seems appropriate for almost everyone.

Heartfelt or heartless...even all the Grinch wanted was to love and be loved. That's why his heart grew three sizes that day.

People, writers, artists try to use these nihilistic terms in order to contextualize their pain, their heart ache.

"everything we know is wrong."

"just give up. it's easier."

They use these in substitution because they think it's the one way to get that feeling of happiness back.

So when you come to grips with heartache, when you take it on and start accepting it, when you truly move on from the thing your heart was broken over....

what's next?

"there are plenty of fish in the sea."

"you gotta get back up on that horse."

That all assumes so much and so little at the same time.

Maybe it's all in the chase....maybe the chase is the real cause of heartbreak.

Or, maybe it's never getting across the finish line. It's always in the run, and never in the finish.

Or maybe, just maybe there is no finish. Could it all just be chase?

Exhilaration is never matched out side those first few moments when eyes meet, conversation clicks, and while perhaps too soon, you both are thinking, this may be the one.

But it's never the one really, because there is no "one".

Because at the end of the day...

it's just heartbreak being prolonged.

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