"This is not a relationship. We're not in a relationship."
" I know. We firmly established that in the beginning. I never asked you for that. BUt we also were not about labels, and suddenly it's labeling by labeling what it's not."
"I know. That's because it feels like a relationship."
"I know. It feels like all the shitty parts of a relationship."
What does hanging out mean? What is it's definition in the American dictionary of relationships? It seems pretty simple upon first glance, but it becomes so much more complicated once you actually attempt to do it.
This seems clearly to be because there's so much expectation on what's supposed to come after "hanging out". And what exactly are the boundaries where you cross over from this state into dating or a relationship or whatever comes after.
I propose a moratorium on labels and titles that come from the American Dictionary of Relationships. Because the words never mean what they are supposed to mean in it and they always suppose so much more than they need to.
How can you get to know anyone if the immediate bottom line seems to be to jump into a binding contract with them off the bat?
In order to hang out, it would suppose a requisite is to actually spend time.
But hang out has so many different interpretations connected to it. What does it mean? and where does it go from there? This is one of the great mysteries in human relationships.
And exactly how do you spend this time...the dating of our ancestors is seriously antiquated and outdated.
Going to the movies are never appropriate early dates. Your going to sit in the dark for two hours with someone you were supposed to be getting to know better. And f one of you doesn't like the movie, well, that makes for awkward conversation after.
Going out fora "dinner date" just sound antiquated. It sounds like something old people do. We are not old people.
Life is not natural I guess. Not in the way we want to. Or at least relationships aren't prone to be.
I think I, personally, have been on two "dates" in my life.Neither of them went particularly well because they felt and were forced in some fashion. There was nothing natural about them. The girls were fine, nice even, maybe it was just the wrong time. I don't know.
Every other way I've ended up with someone is by a victim of circumstance in meeting.
Which is not working.
So, isn't the way it was intended is you see someone, your attracted to them, and you try to find a way to send more time and get to know them more?
And yet every way to go about this seems forced and unnatural and hopeless. It's a tease of a little game that men and woman play with each other on a global scale.
We are supposed to show interest but not too much interest. We are supposed to have fun, and if we're lucky it's too much fun that lasts a really long time, or it's short, messy and complicated.
What happened to simple? What happened to sitting on the couch watching movies? What happened to taking a walk and talking? Whatever happened to comfortable silence?
How do we meet people in this day and age?
Maybe we just don't.