Saturday, December 17, 2005


What can you, rather, do you contemplate when your alone? Are you comtemplating the simple act of being alone? Is it healthy to contemplate the act of being alone? Is it healthy to be alone? What does the word alone realy mean? Are we all truly just alone? Are we all seeking to not be alone? Are we content as we are? Are we happy who we are? Are we happy? Are we pretending? Is being alone just a state of mind? Are we all ever alone? Is "alone" even relevant? Repeat yourself two times if you understand.

I've got no use for simple connections, as i've got no use for simple attractions or addictions. Your always thinking to the point of obsession but never really crossing that line. Obseession is an ugly statement but a beautiful word. I'll always understand what it is but never what it means. Stop and think. You're obsessing again.

She said "I'm not sure where I end and you begin," she said. I'll never know what this meant. I thought about it, thought about it's relationship to being alone. I obsessed over it. And I never got it quite right. Never came to the crux of the matter. Abstract is how I work but abstract thinking doesn't work. I can't be the only person who thinks this right? And what if I am? What if I am.

Repeat as needed...

It's a calm soothing feeling like the womb. But it's not the womb. It's artificial. It's fake. It's automated. Something you do that's automated. You don't think about it. If you have to think about it, you amy be in a great deal of trouble. We aren't robots, we're humans. Systems work systematically. Our systems work like robots. We don't think, we do.

You understand when nobody else did. You understand when nobody else does. Past tense preceded but present tense. If you understand, you are cognisant. If you are cognisant, you are thinking. If your are thinking you are obsessing. If you're obsessing, you're the latter. It's a vicious cycle that goes around and around. Your are the first. Is it possible to be the first and the last. It's a circle and a cycle that I don't understand. I just want to so desperately understand.Where do we go from here? What were we hoping for? Understanding? A kind word. A shared glance. A smile. Something otherworldly. Something on this world. Something? Someone?

Currently listening :

Silent Alarm
By Bloc Party
Release date: By 22 March, 2005

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