Friday, July 31, 2009


Crushes exists to allow us to live our lives vicariously with another person without actually having to realize what the reality of that relationship would be like. Crushes allow us to understand what the fantasy of being with another person would be like, but without all the messiness of actually getting involved with them. Crushes seem to always be resultant in an immediate and sometimes intense physical attraction, but the beauty of the crush is that the imagination lets the mind run free in fulfilling the idea that both physically and mentally this person is perfect for you.

To crush is the ability to fall for someone from afar, or sometimes even several people at once.

A crush is also a defense mechanism. It's a way to recognize that you'd never be able to actually initiate anything with these people, because you feel they are completely unattainable, or the more popular phrasing of "out of your league". So in a way there's no pressure to fulfill a crush because you don't think you necessarily have a chance with them, being that you don't think they would ever be interested ore that the timing is wrong or whatever the case may be.

Much like a crush, a dream can be fulfillment of the libido or attraction in the subconscious. Some dream analysts explain things representing other things as a call out to subversive things brimming underneath the surface of your conscious mind.

I say this is bullshit.

Dreams are manifestations of our subconscious to be sure, but they could also be a manifestation of positive thinking, something we want to make happen, something we think we can make happen.

Obviously in this case, the things have to be normal to the material world. Of course most people don't dream about unicorns and magic. Most people dream about themselves in the most abstract terms, whether they be metaphoric or literal.

So, what happens when the crush, something that can be determined as unattainable intersects with your dreams, something that your mind believes, at a subconscious level at least, is attainable by you.

I don't usually dream.

Strike that. I don't usually remember my dreams. At least no in any sort of vivid state. Usually it's very small fractured pieces that are largely gone from my memory by noon of the day after I had the dream.

Last night I had a dream that I remembered vividly. Well maybe not vividly, but I remember the intensity and memory of it sticking with me when I woke up this morning. Details aren't necessary, but it's caused me to think seriously about what it means, my above (perhaps now former) thought and conceptualization of the crush versus the concept of the dream.

My mind seems to be trying to tell me something (that sounds kind of crazy but true at the same time) that my fears and insecurities have help me from doing.

It's a weekend for thinking. Maybe too much so. But I feel like it also is some sort of muse to something creative in my near future.

That and it conceptualized how much more emotionally transformative simple kissing can be to sex.

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