The camel doesn't appreciate the nickname you've given his foot....

After eating some of me favorite food (namely Kowloon's on route one) with some of my favorite people (namely my bandmates who are always good for several deep and meaningfull laughing sessions) I stopped off after a few adult beverages to partake in one of my favorite pastime activties (that being walking thorugh what must be one of the world's largest Branes and Noble on route one), searching for books to add to my mini-study (thata ctually only takes up a corner of my room right now.) This action being slightly in front of walkigna round comic book stores and wlaking around cd/dvd stores ins earch for new additons to my library of sorts ( the third only being third because of the large amount of time i spent working and a store like this and as a result it having taken some of the magic out of the experience...although there always is Amoeba Records in Claifornia, that no matte rhow many times I walk in, my breath is still taken away with how much time could be lost).As I walked around the stores trying to figure out what ti was I was in the mood to read I ahppened upon a couple...more to the oint that couple. That couple that you have an immadiate anti-pavlovian reaction to in regards to their gazing into each others eyes, lightly kissing each other on the lips as they read their hyper-intellectual books and you avoiding vomiting your chinese food all over the middle of the floor. Feeling the ned to ignore this pavlvian reactyion and to associate this action to one of my favorite activites I walked away immediately, but then started to wonder why it is I had this immediate action to this public display of affection. What i think I relaized, is while i'm far from the super exhibtionist in regards to these types of things, part of me was probably sickened by the fact that I was jealous of these too people in front of me. And while the pessimistic villian that dwells inside reslihed in the fact that these kind of love struck moments never really last, and that in time these two would probably be fighting and hating each other sooner reather than later, the opelss romantic in me also wanted to be in that situation, if not only slightly. As these thoughts raced through my head, I came across a book I ahd been looking for for the last ten years and it struck me that these two love birds might have actually not only been good luck to me but also a sign that that pessimistic part of me may be fading away in my old age. Maturity shows itself to you in the starngest ways, especially when you realize shopping in bookstores is now one of your favorite activities. And as I walked out with my new Chuck P. book and my cherished "Fade" book by the great Robert Cormier, I walked up to the couple, shook my hands and thanked them (when questioned with"For what" I simply said i didn't matter and thanked them away and was on my way), I jumped in my car with my new found realization of life and sang at the top of my lungs as I took the long way home. While I despise traffic as much as I do being sick, I love driving with the music blasting singing at the top of my lungs. And pulling into the driveway, an almost childlike giddyness came ove rme as i felt like, whether it happens in the near future or in the far future, I'll get that gaze back again....