"Ghosts."

I'm.

Not.

Here.



I've never been here.

Not really.

"lost."

Have you ever gotten so far inside your thoughts that you forgot where you were? Is that even a possibility?

Music usually clears my thoughts. Not lately.

What happens to a dream deferred?

I don't know Mr. Hughes.

I spend every day trying to figure out how I can want everything and nothing at the same time.

Self-esteem is a son of a bitch.

Love is an illusion. Something not real.

All the while deathly afraid that this constant state of off-kilter is exactly what I strive for all along the way.

I don't want you.

But I want you.

I want you to want...me.

But if I'm nothing then doesn't that mean I want nothing?

We all strive for those quiet moments, when everything seems good. They're small...few and far between...and nothing to initiate them into starting...nothing stopping them from fleeing just as fast.

I want to crawl into those moments and never leave them.

No, I don't. I want to feel exhilarated and excited and comforted and content all at once.

This is not life.

It's much easier to tell people to live, than it is to take your own advice.

Closure and comfort are then mutually exclusive.

Although I'm not so sure I really believe that.

I recently realized things can be easy. I have a hard time distinguishing easy from settling.

Not that it matters because "settling", things being "easy", that's not a real option anyways.

No matter what these self-proclaimed "signs" may say.

Signs almost like a game.

A game I'm not sure I can play any more.

A game I'm not sure I want to play anymore.